Holy Crap, I am Super Pregnant!

So you might ask, how does one know that they are “super” pregnant?  Well let me share with you some of my “symptoms”.

–Gone are solid, full-nights of sleep. I toss and turn frequently and am surrounded by a fortress of pillows.  This picture is proof!

–I have to roll myself out of bed. No lie.

–If I drop something I stop and think “Do I really need that?”  I usually respond “No” in my head and leave it.  Bending is the enemy and virtually impossible.

–I can go 3+ days without doing a # 2.  And when I do finally “go” I am confident that my experience in the bathroom is preparing me for delivery.

–Someone should certify me as a hazard zone! I pass gas that can quite possibly kill someone.

–I regularly throw up in my mouth. Thank you acid reflux and heartburn.

–I can only fully shave my left leg. For some reason I can’t successfully position my right leg to get each side of it.

–I have not seen my vagina in weeks.  I have no idea how it is holding up.

–My nipples are tanner than I have ever been in my whole entire life.

–My breathing replicates an over-weight, two-pack a day smoker.  Seriously, it is a bit disconcerting.  Forget walking up-and-down my town home’s awesome staircases – I gasp for air in-between sentences when sitting still in a chair.

–I waddle, tremendously.  Shoot, I waddled before I was pregnant!  I am no longer a waddling duck – I am a waddling penguin!

–I am a hormonal time-bomb waiting to go off at any wrong look, gesture, or comment that might infuriate me.  I cannot control the internal rage I have encountered, even though I know I shouldn’t feel or react a certain way. To explain it best – some days I feel possessed!

Please share in the comment section what signs or symptoms you’ve displayed that you too are/were super pregnant!


2 thoughts on “Holy Crap, I am Super Pregnant!

  1. I’m currently 33 weeks pregnant and can relate to nearly all of your complaints… Fun isn’t it? Oh well, not long till it’s over now. And welcome to no sleep, sore, leaky boobs… But you have a sweet little baby to cuddle. It’s all worth it (this is my third)!

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