So tomorrow our first family member will find out that we are pregnant! I am so nervous to tell my Mom. On one hand it is a relief to finally share our secret, on the other hand I have no idea how she will react – shocked, surprised, emotional…maybe all three! My husband and I never told people we were “trying”. I would feel incredibly uncomfortable saying “Hey Mom and Dad, we are trying to have a baby”. AKA – we really are having sex. Ewwww, parents shouldn’t know that even if they know that! In my head my parents are still virgins even though I exist! More importantly, we only tried once! We had no time to tell anyone we were trying to conceive! Of course we had discussed having children for a while now. We went into our marriage knowing we both wanted babies sometime in the future when we were more emotionally and financially stable. He felt ready and sure of our abilities the day he said “I do”. It took me time and aging to realize I was satisfied enough in my personal life to forgo some of my own future wants. I also heard my biological clock ticking louder and louder by the day. Stories of friends my age and older having a hard time conceiving made me nervous as well. What if I waited too long for our circumstances to be too perfect? What if we had the big house and pool, six figure jobs and had traveled all over the world and then when ready to start a family we realized we were too late? I felt responsible to not only myself, but to my husband knowing I ultimately controlled the “yes” and “no” of this big decision and further hesitation could result in no decision.
UPDATE: September 20, 2010
My mom knows we are expecting! This is how it all played out…
We went to Atlantic City to celebrate my brothers 40th birthday! We had my mom come to our hotel room alone explaining we wanted to give her the souvenirs we had purchased for her during our European trip this past summer. She opened them up one-by-one, my heart pounding the whole time. I explained where they each came from and their significance. Finally I gave her the last “souvenir” which was wrapped as a gift. I told her we made this gift ourselves in Italy and that it was very special. She opened up a bib that read “I love Grandma” and she looked so incredibly confused. I think her first words were “huh”? She flipped the bib over several times trying to see if she was missing something, but she wasn’t. We totally threw her for a loop! Finally I said, “We are expecting”. She still looked confused!!! Then I said, “We are going to have a baby!” She replied, “Is this for real? Get out!!” She took a moment and then said, “I knew it! Well I knew it would be this year or next because of the new car”.
Darn you new car! In June I came home to find a beautiful new crossover-SUV that my husband purchased while I was away. I provided no input, color picking, or decision-making towards the new vehicle. He did it on his own. Unlike most wives, I didn’t freak out that I wasn’t consulted prior to this large purchase (much out of my character). I was amazed that he had done such a wonderful job at making such a big decision for the both of us. Anyhow…going back to my mom’s reaction – she like several other people assumed that the new vehicle was in preparation for an expanded family. The funny thing is, everyone else looked at the new vehicle from this perspective expect for me! She did add that she also took note of my loose fitting shirt choice! I also threw her for another loop when she asked me if I wanted a drink while playing roulette and I pointed to my Sprite & lemon (easily mistaken for some type of vodka). Several minutes later after the shocking news we were all hugging imaging what the baby would look like!
We will be sharing the news with my father next. I am sure that it will be an emotional conversation as he learns his little Tinkerbell will have a baby of her own.